


You Are Wanted Obi-Wan Kenobi

by Allwalkfree



Series: Mace's Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Cute Anakin Skywalker, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feemor Needs a Hug (Star Wars), Gen, He Is Very Misguided, Hurt/Comfort, Mace Windu Appreciation Day, Mace Windu is Best Dad, Obi-Wan Is Mace's Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker Friendship, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Whump, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Parental Mace Windu, Protective Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, Qui-Gon Jinn's A+ Parenting, Qui-Gon Needs Therapy Not Kids To Traumatize, Tired Mace Windu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29359833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allwalkfree/pseuds/Allwalkfree
Summary: Qui-Gon lives and Mace gets a new Padawan.In which Qui-Gon repudiates Obi-Wan and Mace isn't about to let the kid leave the order without a fight.
Relationships: Depa Billaba & Mace Windu, Depa Billaba & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Feemor & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu & Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Quinlan Vos, Qui-Gon Jinn & Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Mace's Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156703
Comments: 274
Kudos: 776





	1. A choice, a decision, a promise

"No luck?"

Mace sighed.

Walking through the door only to come face to face with his former Padawan sprawled across his couch especially after the trying day he's had only served to make his shoulders tighten further. "What are you doing here Depa?" he asked doing his best to keep the exhaustion out of his voice.

His fellow council member raised a single eyebrow in reply.

Mace sighed again, hand running over his face and pulling at his chin. "No," he finally answered. "No luck." And if voicing his failings didn't already sour his mood, seeing the flash of disappointment in Depa's eyes surely did.

"There is nothing wrong with Obi-Wan," she huffed. Her annoyance bleeding into the force as she observed him go about preparing his own afternoon meal along with hers now that she'd decided to make herself at home in his apartment.

"I know," he said, bringing out cups and plates while he waited for their dinner to heat up; not even contemplating asking Depa for assistance as he well knew by this point he could never make her set a foot inside the kitchen after that 'incident'. "But with his prior records and Qui-Gon,"--the Chalactan woman snorted in disgust and Mace paused to send her a warning glare. "having repudiated him," he continued doing his best to clam down on his own anger when the words leave his mouth. "Not many are willing to take a second look."

Walking over to sit by the dinner table Depa sighed; the force muted with her sadness. "It's a cruel faith being stripped of your future because one man has decided to throw away all traditions because he thinks himself some kind of _force whisperer_ ," she dragged the last words out rather mockingly inciting a snort from Mace which then resulted in him trying and failing to give her another stern glare.

Annoyed as he was with the other man, insulting him was not a productive endeavor. Still, he couldn't fault his former Padawan for her bitterness towards his old friend. Qui-Gon certainly did parade around as if he was the only man blessed with the true gift of the force. "Hopefully young Kenobi still has a future as a Jedi," he said, setting down their plates. "I just need to find one Master who is willing to take him on. He only needs a year or two before he is ready for his Trials."

Depa hummed in agreement but the force swiveling around her was still leaking uncertainty if only a little. Clapping his former student on the shoulder, Mace let encouragement wash over her as he sat down. "Do not worry yourself," he said letting go when he the tension finally eased out of her body.

companionable silence fell between them after that, the worry for Obi-Wan still lingering in the air but for now, both willing to put it aside to share the little time they rarely get to spend together to its fullest. It's only after the table is cleared and Depa has found her way back to his couch that she speaks on the topic again.

"How is he by the way?"

Staring forlorn at the dirty dishes and missing the good old days when he could make little Depa wash up as part of her training while he excused himself for a short nap, Mace shook his head and made his way over to the opposite coach, leaving the dishes for tomorrow. "He's doing well," he said, folding his legs under him. "All things considered. He's healing."

Depa pursed her mouth. "He's the Sith-Slayer and we can't even give him an automatic knighting because--" She bit her tongue before the words slipped out, but Mace knew very well what she was about to say.

_'Because Qui-Gon is still alive.'_

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had both survived the battle of Naboo. Survived the Sith. And while Obi-Wan had accomplished a feat no other had before him, saved his master and came out of it all still breathing; barring the heavy injuries sustained by both men.... saving Qui-Gon Jinn had unknowingly sealed young Kenobi's own faith.

Not that Mace wasn't immensely grateful his old friend had gotten out of it alive. But--

With Qui-Gon alive, Obi-Wan could not be Knighted without taking the Trials and to everyone's horror the boy's Master was not willing to wait for him to be ready for them.

No, Qui-Gon had made it quite clear how little he thought of his student's well being when he so cruelly disregarded him in front of the Council, repudiating him and throwing him away in hopes of training young Anakin Skywalker. Mace stomach coiled in disgust just thinking of that day. That moment….. With Qui-Gon standing in the middle of the room, an uncertain Anakin next to him and a distinct lack of Obi-Wan by his side. Qui-Gon had declared for all to hear that he would be training Skywalker and if that could only come to be with Kenobi out of the way, so be it.

Obi-Wan hadn't even been there to defend himself. Submerged in a bacta tank as he was, fighting for his very life and---

Clenching his fists, it's all Mace can do to carefully release his anger into the force and close his eyes against the onslaught of memories. Obi-Wan's clear eyes staring up at him from a hospital bed in abject disbelief, having woken up to a broken bond and a hair distinctly lacking a familiar braid.

The fact Qui-Gon hadn't even had the respect, the heart to tell the poor boy face to face. That he had unbraided his hair while Obi-Wan was still….. That he hadn't explained anything. He…. Mace was a Jedi....

_"He…. repudiated….me?_

_Mace hadn't known what to say. Standing there in the Halls of Healing, staring down at the too sickly, too skinny, too haunted man in the hospital bed. Mace hadn't known what to say._

_What could one say in the face of absolute devastation?_

_So he had just stood there, seconds ticking by, eyes unable to break away from the dull blue-gray that belonged to young Obi-Wan Kenobi. Unable to speak, unable to console, unable to utter the words he knew would shatter whatever remained of the fragile sense of self-worth the kid had left._

_Finally, as the auburn haired man swallowed thickly, looking away, Mace regained his speech._

_Sitting down heavily in the chair stationed by the bed, he'd folded his hands under his chin and lowered his voice into an almost gentle hum. "Yes, he did. In front of the council, a couple of weeks ago."_

"Oh."

_That single word crumbled something in Mace he hadn't known existed within him._

_Kenobi looked so small. Thin fingers clutching at the white covers, bottom lip red from being gnawed bloody, hair damp from recently having been brought out of the bacta tank and eyes swimming with such hopelessness it left the Korun man's heart with dull sense of ache he didn't quite know how to deal with._

_Mace Windu was a Jedi. Controlling and releasing his emotions into the force was by now a habit as easy to him as breathing._

_Nothing got under his skin, nothing pained him for long. He was focused, he was disciplined and by all accounts he was never brought to the edge of absolute fury. But looking into those gray-blue eyes. Seeing young Kenobi trying so hard to keep himself from crying. Watching the young man chest heave in futile attempt not to collapse in on himself. The destruction of a bright light, of a hopeful child ruthlessly turned into a broken young man at the hands of someone who should have known better---_

_Mace was a Jedi and his emotions did not rule him._

_They did not. And yet, and yet…._

_He pressed his fingers against his knees, nails digging into the skin beneath his clothes and he looked Obi-Wan Kenobi dead in the eyes and firmly; without pity, laid out the decree of the council. Explained what precarious position the kid found himself in; all the while being oh so careful not to let his voice catch on the lump sufficating him from within._

_Now that Kenobi had been repudiated he was no longer a Padawan and if the council had followed the Jedi Code to the letter, he should have been expelled or relocated to the ServiceCop or the AgroCorp the minute Qui-Gon had disowned him, but this wasn't an ordinary situation and Kenobi, well, Kenobi was anything but an ordinary Jedi._

_So, "with your unique circumstances," Mace had said, hand resting by the kid's knee just in case the proximity dispelled the harshness of Obi-Wan's new reality or even brought the kid some semblance of comfort. "the council has concluded that you will be given six weeks to find a new Master to complete your training and 'if' that Master is deemed acceptable by the council." Mace did his best to emphasize the 'if' for it meant any young Knight trying to do Obi-Wan a favor while having nothing of their own to actually teach him were automatically ruled out; force knew the kid had plenty of friends who would step up to the task (just the thought of recently Knighted Quinlan Vos boldly declaring himself Obi-Wan's new Master gave Mace a headache. If the sheer embarrassment didn't kill Kenobi, Quinlan's teachings surely would.) "Then your apprenticeship will be transferred to them until you're deemed ready for your Trails."_

_Obi-Wan had nodded, fingers tracing unknown patters on the cover. "I assume you have already spoken to a fair number of potential Masters?"_

_There is a certain ease to his voice, the raspiness behind it the only thing giving away how hard the kid was trying to cover up the burnt edges of his anguish. Even after Mace had seen with his own two eyes how Kenobi; as soon as the visible grief of his former Master's betrayal had run its course, gathering himself up. Taking a deep breath and then as if it was an artform storing away his emotions, carefully and meticulously behind unreadable eyes until a hurt child once again transformed back into a composed young man._

_It was…… concerning the ease with which Kenobi could look as if his entire world hadn't just been shattered into pieces._

_"I have." he had said in answer; swallowing down the bitterness of his own failure and watching as Obi-Wan's fingers darted across the knuckles of his outstretched hand (that Mace had yet to move) almost as if unconsciously seeking out comfort; only for the young man to realize what he'd done making him flinch away. Mace nearly scowled in distress 'What had Qui-Gon done to this child?!'. "Unfortunately I have yet to find a Master willing to take on a Padawan your age," he managed to finish._

_"Ironic isn't it?" Obi-Wan muttered, self deprecating amusement dancing in his eyes. It took Mace a second to grasp the context behind the words but when he did, a sardonic smirk pulled at his lips._

_"Yes," he said. "I suppose it is."_

_For it was. To be rejected for a child too old to become a Padawan, only to then turn around and find yourself the one who is now too old to be anyone's Padawan. Ironic indeed._

_And so very awful._

_They had talked about nothing of note after that. Obi-Wan content in pretending nothing outside the four walls of his room existed and Mace wanting to indulge him, just this once._

_Still, even though he regaled the kid with stories, particularly of that one time Master Yoda had kidnapped him to lure five other Masters away from a council meeting, his brain was still running through potentially willing Masters for the child he was so unwilling to give up on just yet._

"I would take him if I could."

Depa's words managed to bring him back to the present with an abruptness he wasn't ready for.

He blinked, once, twice. Then sighed deeply as he closed his eyes. "I know."

Depa shifted across from him. "His time is nearly up."

Mace tensed. "He still has two more weeks left."

Now it's her who uttered a single, "I know."

A suffocating silence once again wrapped itself around them. This one hinging on uncertainty, worry and concern. Emotions that swiftly were released into the force and yet lingered in the room like an unspoken blemish. Finally Depa spoke. Her words nothing but a whisper but holding all the strength of an ocean slamming against the shores of Mace's stability.

"You could take him."

It's not a question, not quite a suggestion either. It's more like…… a promise.

Mace startled, eyes flying open. "What?" He had expected much from her, maybe a suggestion of one of Kenobi's little Knight friends taking him as Padawan, which he would have soundly rejected but not this. This was unexpected to say the least.

Depa only shrugged away his incredulity. "You could take him as your Padawan learner. He would only need a year or two at most, like you said and Kenobi is mild tempered, level-headed and a quick study, you would get along great." She said it all with such casualness and certainty Mace couldn't help but stare.

Crossing her arms and folding her knees under her in a mirror image of him, Depa lifted a single eyebrow. "You cannot tell me you have not considered this?"

Mace bit back a wince. "Of course I have. Unfortunately that doesn't-"

Depa cut him off. "Why not?"

If there was anyone who feared him less than Depa; excluding their green troll of a Grandmaster, Mace had yet to meet them. And now watching as she stared him down, Mace was torn between pride and indignity. "You know why." He gritted out, mindful to keep his voice even. "I'm Master of the Order. I will not have the time to train him properly. My duties are on Coruscant. Young Obi-Wan will need someone to go on missions with him, look out for him and I'm afraid I cannot do that."

If he'd thought his words would discourage his former student, he was wrong. Now she looked even more resolute than before he'd made his argument.

"May I remind you Obi-Wan is Senior Padawan. He does not require someone to hold his hand every step of the way." Here a ghost of a smile grace her lips. "He is only a year or so away from his Trials, Mace. He is supposed to take solo missions by now. You just need to oversee the remaining of his training, help him polish a couple of things and he'll be ready." Her eyes flickered with something too fast to detect. "Please Mace, at least think about it."

He swallowed, throat suddenly dry. "Obi-Wan deserves someone who can devote their time on him," he said, and yet the idea was running through his mind with possibilities.

Kenobi deserved better than what Mace could provide. Especially after Qui-Gon. Especially after the countless setbacks, traumas and horrors the kid had been through. He didn't deserve a Master who wouldn't always be there even if the kid only needed minimal help at this point. "I may not be what he needs?"

Now Depa was glaring at him. "Maybe it's about time people stopped assuming what is best for Obi-Wan and started giving him the chance to choose what _he_ thinks is best for him? And maybe it's about time he received the knowledge that he is _actually wanted for once in his life?!_ " The last words are said with such vehemence Mace is momentarily stunned.

Quickly as the anger came it vanished, leaving behind a sheepish smile and mildly apologetic eyes. But Depa did not take her words back.

Mace couldn't find it in himself to scold her for it. After all, wasn't that the root of Obi-Wan's issues? How everyone kept assuming what was best for him, never once listening to what he wanted?

Would it be wrong for Mace then to lay his cards on the table. To ask? The kid did not have to accept; although Mace would be disappointed if he didn't. But to ask, he could do that, couldn't he? Let the kid know that he wished to train him, had always seen the potential in him. Might have taken him on from the very beginning if Depa hadn't still been his Padawan. That he would see him to Knighthood if Kenobi let him. What would be the harm in that?

"When he's released from the Halls of Healing where will he go?"

The abrupt change in topic makes the Korun man blink up at his for Padawan in confusion.

"Without a Master," she continued eyes glinting with something. "He will be relocated to the Initiate dorms will he not?"

Mace was already shaking his head before the question had fully left her lips. "No."

"No?"

He nodded. "He will move in with me until a Master chooses to claimed him as a Padawan."

Now the glint in Depa's eyes are all but twinkling like stars but why…..

Mace own eyes widen in realization.

_Oh_

He hadn't thought much of it. Having just assumed Obi-Wan would stay with him until a Master stepped forward to accept him. Hadn't even contemplated putting the traumatized young man with the Initiates. In a way, he had already made his choice days ago, hadn't he? And of course Depa had seen right through him to a part of him he hadn't even been aware off.

If he was a lesser man, Mace might have flushed red with embarrassment having essentially claimed Kenobi as his own Padawan without knowing. But he was Mace Windu, Master of the Order, so all he let himself get away with was a huff and a slight twitch of his mouth. "Looks like my mind has already decided what my head has yet to conclude."

Depa answering smile is teasing. "Seems so."

The relief that hits him at those words is almost staggering. Knocking into his chest and nearly toppling him back against the headrest.

He'd been worried, angry, concerned and at his wits end these past couple of weeks. Knowing he was letting Obi-Wan down every day he was politely rejected by another Master who'd seen Obi-Wan's records, heard of his repudiation and refused to take a chance on him. Knowing Qui-Gon repudiating him had essentially sealed the young man's faith. Feeling disgusted by the false rumours of Kenobi's insubordination, and having to go see him every evening watching the light flicker out of his eyes as each shred of hope he had of being a Knight was torn away from him.

_In the end it was all so very simple wasn't it._

The minute the kid had looked at him with those eyes, Mace had known.

He would never let him go without a fight. Not Kenobi. Never Kenobi.

It didn't matter how busy his schedule was he would make time for Obi-Wan if he accepted him. No longer would he stand by and watch those hunched shoulders trailing after the rigged figure of one Qui-Gon Jinn. No longer would he stand by and let the kid be used to wash away someone else's darkness.

Obi-Wan Kenobi would be his Padawan.

Overwhelmed by the sheer sense of calmness that washed over him at that thought, Mace momentarily closed his eyes and breathed. Releasing all the emotions clinging to him into the force. Worry, anger, fear, concern, care and most of all pure, unwavering protectiveness.

If he had something to say about it, and he did. Qui-Gon would never step a foot near the kid ever again. 

"Do you think he will take to Vaapad as quickly as you did?" He asked as his composure fell into place and his eyes sought out his former student.

The startled laugh that burst out of Depa made a sharp smile twist at the corner of his mouth.

"Maybe Soresu is more is speed," she lightly jabbed back.

Tilting his head; playful for those who knew to spot the miniscule changes in his expression, Mace glared. "Don't you even think about interfering with Kenobi's lightsaber studies behind my back little Spitfire."

Depa looked amused. "Wouldn't dream of it." But then the mirth vanished and gave way to contentment. "It would be nice," she said. "Finally having a Padawan sibling."

Mace found himself smiling, gentler this time. "It would."

They share a smile before Depa is on her feet, making her way to the door. "Best to inform Obi-Wan of your decision as soon as possible," she called over her shoulder. "He'll be out of the Halls in three days time."

..........

..........

Mace stared, and stared. And then, stared some more.

"This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" he said out loud, not quite believing she managed to manipulate him so thoroughly . "You came here today to coax me into accepting Kanobi as my apprentice."

Depa doesn't look back at him, but she doesn't have to. The Force danced around her with mirth and shades of guilt for having deceived him. The Korun man could only let himself shake his head, heart tugging with pride at how much his little spitfire had grown while also frowning in realization. " **Depa.** " he said firmly, but his former Padawan was already palming open the door.

"Don't be like that _Master_ ," she said turning back to give him a final look, the familiar title she only used sparingly coming out of her mouth with overflowing warmth and fondness. "We both know I only guided you to the decision you wanted to make all along."

She was right. Still,

"I don't like to be manipulated Padawan mine."

She only smiled. Mischief in her eyes and a single dimple creasing her left cheek before she was gone, vanishing out the door.

Mace was left sitting alone in his living room. A mirroring smile painting his lips and chest for the first time since Naboo filled with nothing but anticipated flicker of hope.

To go from being repudiated one day to being the Padawan of Mace Windu, Master of the Order few weeks later….. Kenobi would have hell of a time trying to compute the insanity of the news coming his way tomorrow.

Mace hoped Obi-Wan Kenobi slept well tonight for both their sakes.

The next couple of weeks would be….. Hectic to say the least.


	2. The little Jedi

The world shifted.

And Mace had not been prepared for it. The minute his decision in taking Obi-Wan Kenobi had cemented itself in his head, the second he _knew_ , the _very_ moment his calmness on the matter had faded, the world shifted.

_New Shatterpoints._

It sent a shiver down his spine and his head practically ached with pain. To think young Kenobi held such a crucial place in their collective future that the world itself rearranged at Mace's choice.

How...... curious.

Briskly walking out of his last council meeting for the day, Mace rubbed a tired hand over his brow and sighed. It had been two days since he made his decision to take the repudiated Padawan as his own and yet he hadn't gone down to the Halls to see Kenobi. Sure he'd been busy; force knew being the Master of the Order didn't leave much room for time off, but he also knew that before he decided to take Obi-Wan as his Padawan, he had gone to see the kid every evening, so this; he frowned, this felt like an excuse.

And for the life of him he couldn't figure out why he was making one.

He had made his choice, Obi-Wan Kenobi was his choice, so why was he stalling?

Exchanging final words with Plo, allowing Kit to talk him into a night out with the others (sometime next week) and causally avoiding Depa's searching glare, Mace finally wrapped up all that needed to be said and extracted himself from his fellow council members to finally get back to his rooms and relax.

"Troubling you, something is."

Mace stiffened.

Coming upon Master Yoda on his way back to his quarters was..... unexpected.

The green troll was standing down the hall staring out one of the giant windows looking down at the courtyard. The Korun man briefly wondered how the Grandmaster had managed to get ahead of him without him noticing. A thought he quickly discarded because this was Master Yoda and the old Jedi was an anomaly wrapped up in centuries of tricks. For all Mace knew, there was a hidden vent from the council chambers all the way to his rooms that Master Yoda had taken advantage of.

The sudden imagine of the tiny Master squeezing himself into a little tunnel, hobbling quickly to get ahead of him made Mace bite his tongue before he did something inappropriate as laugh.

"Hello again Master Yoda." He said instead, coming to a stop next to the wise old Master. "What brings you here?"

He saw the gimer stick coming and yet the hit was unavoidable. Mace hissed, long having outgrown rubbing at the painful sting of his ankles.

"Troubled you are." Yoda's ears were flat against his head as he spoke and while he wasn't looking at him, the light reprimand and concern floated between them in the force. "Talk to me about them you should."

Mace folded his hands behind his back standing tall and rigged, gaze tracing the evening sun before sighed. "I made a choice and now I seem to be too wary to carry it out." The words leave his mouth with a certain level of reluctancy but there was no one he trusted more to point him in the right direction than Master Yoda, so he spoke his hidden truth, hoping the old Master could guide him. "Perhaps I was too hasty."

This time he let out an audible grunt when the gimer stick swatted against his knee again, harshly. "Trust in the force you will!" Yoda reprimanded. "Never known you to disregard the will of the force. If what you have decided to do is led by the force, well to follow it, you are!" Yoda's ears are once again droopy, claws clutching his gimer stick tightly. "Chance to do right by young Kenobi this is, take it you most. Take it, I ask of you."

The force shuddered and expanded, Yoda's voice was but a whisper despite how powerful it came out, and Mace clenched his fists, fingers digging into his wrists. "Is it me that he needs?" he asked; yes lingering on the fading lights. "Or am I inserting myself into a spot meant for another?" He wasn't even remotely surprised the old Jedi knew who he was talking about.

Yoda slammed his stick into the ground. "Qui-Gon it was not!"

Mace winced.

"Perhaps you, it was always meant to be!"

Mace wasn't so sure.

How had he been so confident two days ago, only to falter with every minute that passed? Mace was no coward. So what if there were a few new Shatterpoints? So what if the future was even more uncertain now. What did it all matter so long as the force was with him? What did it mater if he knew in his heart he'd made the right choice? And he knew, oh he knew he'd made the right choice. After all, he wouldn't let that bright kid go. No, not without a fight.

Then what, what was holding him back from going to the Halls and relieving the young one of his burden of uncertainty?

"Let your fear rule you, you most not." 

Eyes widening slightly, Mace opened his mouth to retort, but a wave of Yoda's hand silenced him. "Fear rejection you do. Also fear an uncertain future you do. Silly it is," he forcefully carried on when Mace once again tried to interrupt him. "But emotions rarely rational they are. Fear you have. release it into the force you most. Need you Obi-Wan does."

He wanted to protest against the accusation of fear, deny the ridiculousness of Yoda's claim, but he couldn't. Loathed as he was to admit it, the Grandmaster's words rang true. He was afraid. His decision to take young Kenobi as his Padawan while having not been subconsciously spontaneous, it had consciously been a surprise. He wanted to train the kid. Of course he did.

Maybe it was his destiny all along.

But the world shifted when he made his choice. New Shatterpoints had appeared. Perhaps galaxy defining Shatterpoints, and he hadn't even asked the child to become his Padawan yet. What would happen when he did? His head was aching as if lightsabers were going through it. His mind burning with the unraveling of the world as he knew it.

And yes, he was also worried that Kenobi might not want him as a Master. Might try to hold out for a Master who had more time on his hands. Or else, why wouldn't the kid have just asked him directly if he would consider taking him?

_'You know why,'_ his inner voice hissed back. _'He has been rejected one too many times.'_

Fear of rejection. Mace supposed they might both be suffering from it currently. Him who had yet to take on a Padawan after his Depa. And Obi-Wan who was dismissed by the one man who had openly accepted him; not that Qui-Gon's several rejections of the child didn't make Mace's blood boil with righteous fury.

Two of a kind.

Maybe it was always meant to be.

"Fear is the path to the dark side," he finally muttered back, lips twitching slightly as he imitated the Grandmaster. "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

"Insufferable you are."

He couldn't help but snort, watching from the corner of his eye as Yoda's ears perk back up. "I am."

"Understood have you?"

"Yes."

"Let go of your fears have you?" Yoda had fully turned around to look at him now. His all too seeing eyes fixing him with a stare of thousand solar systems. Mace paused before answering. Taking a second to focus on the pulsating headache drumming against his temple, his worries for the future and his fears concerning young Obi-Wan Kenobi.

He sighed. Turning around to face the old Jedi Master.

"Not yet," he said, bowing deeply. "But I will. Thank you Master Yoda." And with that he took a step back, turned and walked toward the direction from which he came.

"Your quarters the other way they are," Yoda called after him, the mischief in his tone quite obvious. Mace nearly had to bite back a grin.

"I have something urgent to take care off," he answered back, not slowing down. "It's long overdue."

Yoda didn't say anything else. Choosing to remain quiet. But his satisfaction and pride in his fellow council member swirled around them in the force, making the Korun man shake his head, a smile dancing at the corner of his mouth.

It was about time someone set him straight.

\--------------

Master Che gave him a look. "You haven't been here in a while."

Her tone was casual enough but only a fool wouldn't sense the reproach behind them. Mace inclined his head in apology. "I'm sorry Master Che, I have been busy."

"You better have." She snapped. "Your absence has been noted by Obi-Wan and that boy does not need any more concern on his shoulders." She paused then, stern gaze softening into an almost hopeful gaze. "Did you find him a Master?"

Mace shook his head, raising his hand when disappointment briefly flickered over the medic's face. "I haven't been looking for one these past two days, Vokara."

Brows furrowing, his old friend crossed her arms. "Pray tell, why not?" There was no judgement or accusation in her tone, just puzzled curiosity.

The Korun man shrugged. "I have decided to ask him myself."

Vokara froze.

Her lekku's turning a shade darker before her cheeks flushed with pleasure. The realization dawning on her with happiness. Lips expanding into a warm smile that crinkled the corner of her eyes, she reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "That's wonderful news, Mace."

He nodded back, uncertainties of these past two days long having faded away. "I do hope young Kenobi feels the same," he joked back lightly, making the Twi'lek woman slap him gently on the shoulder.

"Of course he would," she said, looking incredulously at him. "He would be ecstatic. Now go in there and tell him the news. He's been waiting."

Stepping back, Mace bowed. "Thank you my friend."

She brushed it away. "Anytime. Now go."

Bowing again, he was just about to side step her into the adjacent hall to find Obi-Wan, when her hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. Mace paused, turning around to meet Vokara's eyes. A conflict of emotions were flashing across her face.

"What is it?"

She frowned, dropping her hand. "Don't do anything irrational," she warned. "But Qui-Gon was here yesterday."

"What?" The words were nothing but a whisper,

"Qui-Gon came to see Obi-Wan yesterday."

Mace didn't even notice when his hands clenched into fists, when his nails dug into his palms, crescent moons carving into his flesh. It's only when Vokara grabbed and squeezed them that he uncurled and breathed out slowly. "What did he want?"

Her frown deepened. "To check up on Obi-Wan. He was worried. But I told him the kid wasn't to be stressed out and seeing his old Master could do that to him, so I forbid it."

"Check up on---" Mace stiffened. After everything Qui-Gon had put that kid through, after what he did to him. Kenobi had saved his life and yet Qui-Gon had thrown him away so easily..... And now, now he wanted to check up on him! Where had he been when the kid woke up for the first time, confused, scared and asking for his Master. Where was he when Obi-Wan reached up to tug at his braid and found it gone. Where…..

Mace couldn't…. Couldn't understand how Qui-Gon was so oblivious, so loving and so cruel at the same time. To abandon someone and then turn around to what? See if they were cooping well with the trauma you've gone and added to their already mountain high issues? No wonder Feemor had never forgiven the man. Clearly he was still just as reckless, just as careless just as damaging.

"Master Windu?"

Mace couldn't reconcile his oldest friend, his crèchemate with the man he'd become. Kriff, he couldn't reconcile him with the man that held young Obi-Wan close after his battle with the Sith. Couldn't compute how the same man who'd repudiated the child, had sobbed over his still body, had tried to heal his wound while begging his Padawan to hang on, had pressed his cheek into the auburn hair and whispered sweet, comforting words into the dying Kenobi's ear.

"Mace?"

Obi-Wan wouldn't have survived without Qui-Gon refusing to let him go.

And yet…..

He'd thrown him away the minute he hadn't gotten his way with the council. The minute he'd found his Chosen One.

"Mace!"

His eyes snapped open were they'd somehow fallen shut while his memories had gotten away with him.

Vokara's hands squeezed his shoulders almost painfully tight. "Breathe Mace," she said, blue lips pulled tightly at the corners. "Breathe. Release your emotions into the force."

"How dare he," he muttered, eyes narrowing, even as he breathed in and his anger slowly dissipated into the force. Acknowledged, accepted, and let go. "How kriffing dare he."

"I know."

The pale understanding in the medic's eyes made Mace feel just a little bit better. They both had a rather soft spot for young Kenobi, hell, Mace was sure most Jedi felt the same, so of course this whole situation with Qui-Gon was, upsetting.

Running a tired hand across his brow, the Korun man exhaled. "Did Kenobi see him?"

Vokara's forehead twisted. "No, but I doubt he didn't sense him."

Sighing again, Mace nodded. "Could you let me know if he comes back? I would like to talk to him before he gets the chance to speak with Kenobi."

"I will." she said pushing him down the hall. "Now go. I'm sure Obi-Wan is wondering what's taking you so long."

Mace snorted, shoulders slumping and calmness settling over him once more. "Very well. Good day Master Che."

"Goo day to you as well Master Windu," she hummed, strolling past him in the opposite direction.

\-----------------

Mace walked into the familiar private hospital room that had only a year ago been dubbed as Obi-Wan's second bedroom by the medics. The amount of times he spent there, Mace wasn't really surprised. _'Now it's his only bedroom,'_ a traitorous voice whispered in the back of his mind before Mace shoved it away rather forcefully.

His eyes first landed on the pile of Get Well cards that had practically tripled in numbers since the last time he'd been here. Gaze catching on the uneven, slightly crooked looking one standing front and center. Mace studied it.

Childish squiggly lines wrote out in bold letters, "Lots of Health Mr. Obi-Wan!"

The writer had obviously struggled in making it. Several lines had been scratched out and rewritten. Basic was clearly not the gifter's first language. Mace blinked, gaze focusing on the young man staring back at him from the hospital bed, biting back a wince at the several Shatterpoints surrounding Kenobi in the force. "Skywalker?" he asked, nodding at the card.

Kenobi's lips drew into a rueful little smile and nodded back. "Yeah," he said, lifting a book from behind all the flowers and cards, waving it for Mace to see. "I'm helping him practice Basic." Looking at the card next to him, Kenobi's smile turned a little less sad and a little more genuine. "He's a quick study."

For a single moment Mace Windu was dumbstruck by the sheer kindness that was Obi-Wan Kenobi. Anakin Skywalker had come and turned the kid's world on it's head and here Kenobi was; while recovering from a life ending injury, helping Skywalker learn how to read.

Mace just knew then, without a shadow of a doubt, Kenobi would be a great Jedi someday. If not the greatest.

_'Maybe not the most powerful,'_ he thought, pulling up a chair next to the kid's bed. _'But no doubt the greatest.'_ After all, he embodied the epitome of what it meant to be a Jedi. Compassioned, kind, brilliant--- Mace briefly let himself reach out for the boy's force signature--- And with a light so bright maybe someday it would chase the darkness of their future away.

"So he's been visiting you?" he asked, crossing his arms then his legs, leveling the kid with his full attention.

Brushing the shock of red hair out of his eyes, Obi-Wan smiled softly. "Yeah. He was a bit skittish when he came here to see me a couple of days ago--- After you left for that debriefing," his brows scrunched up in thought as he nodded to himself. "Yes, I do believe it was around seven days ago." Here his eyes lost a little bit of that dull sheen of emptiness. And it made Mace feel just a little bit appreciative of the troublemaking terror that was Skywalker. "We talked. It was a bit…." waving his hand lazily, Obi-Wan shrugged. "Awkward at first but he was pleasant enough company and it was nice having someone around who didn't feel sorry for me outside of my injuries or knew about my…. Circumstances."

Mace nodded. "And when did you start reading _The Little Jedi_ to him?" Picking the children book out of Kenobi's hands he looked down at the old worn cover.

"I wasn't reading it to him," the kid protested, crossing his own arms before pain flashed through his eyes and he dropped them almost immediately. Mace did not comment on it, but noted to himself to let Vokara know before he left for the night. "He was having trouble sounding out a couple of words and I offered to help. And then I suppose it became a thing," he ended it with a shrug.

"And the card?" Mace smiled.

Now the flicker of pride in Obi-Wan's eyes could be felt throughout his force presence, even behind the pain, uncertainty, the fear and worry. "Anakin is learning how to write and he..... he said this was the first thing he wrote on his own." Blinking quickly, Obi-Wan turned away from him, eyes fixating on his own fingers plucking at the covers. "He's a good kid, Master Windu."

"I do not doubt that," Mace replied softly, a finger tracing the face of the cartoonish Jedi. And he didn't doubt it. Sure Skywalker was a walking, talking Shatterpoint, but he was a good kid, that he could believe.

A companionable silence descended between them. Both parties lost in their own thoughts for a while. But it wasn't long before Obi-Wan started to fidget. _'Something was on his mind,'_ Mace thought, could practically taste it in the force. The kid was nervous, his feelings racing and battling each other around them despite how strong his shields were. The Korun man elected to wait him out. If Kenobi wanted to ask him something it was prudent to let the kid find the courage to do so. Pushing young Obi-Wan rarely worked and after having gotten to know him a little better, Mace would admit he had started to adjust to the kid's tells.

And finally, after the minutes had trickled on by; Mace content in flipping through the children book in his lap, Obi-Wan mustered up the courage to ask what he'd been clearly dying to ask all along.

"Master Windu, what did Master Olu'omla say?"

Closing the book and putting it aside, Mace captured Obi-Wan's eyes with his own. "I don't know."

A blink of stunned surprise. "Why not?"

Mace shrugged. "I didn't ask him."

Another tense silence. Mace waited.

And then, with nothing but a whisper and traces of fear coiling around him in the force, Obi-Wan broke eye contact. "Is it because you knew he wouldn't accept…." a hitch of his breath. "Me?"

"No," Mace said carefully and then stopped. He couldn't for the life of him say it. And for the love of the force why was it so hard for him to spit out the words he'd been wanting to say ever since he'd talked to Depa, hell, even before then. Before he'd asked any Masters he had wanted to ask Obi-Wan himself. So why wouldn't these blasted words come out.

_["Let your fear rule you, you most not."]_

Master Yoda was a wise Jedi.

"No," he tried again. "It wasn't because of his acceptance or lack of acceptance that I didn't ask him. It's because I wished to ask you myself." A deep breath. "So," he said, meeting the shocked gaze of the kid and refusing to let himself falter. "Will you Obi-Wan Kenobi become my Padawan learner?"

Silence.

The kid had paled significantly, nearly invisible freckles now practically shining like beacons where they were scattered across his nose. He looked so dazed Mace was momentarily worried the poor child would pass out on him and Vokara would hear of it and never let him visit again.

"Me? Your…. Your Padawa--- Me?"

Was that a squeak?

Mace bit his lip to prevent the snort that threatened to slip out at the scandalized young man in front of him; now beat red from sounding so undignified.

"Yes," Mace said, lips quirking up despite his best effort. "It is a rather simple question, Kenobi."

"But… I…. You," Almost pointing at him, the kid faltered, probably remembering his manners and then pointing at himself instead, eyes as huge at dinner plates. "Me…. Bu--- I don't understand," he finally spluttered, looking relieved he'd managed to at least string together one complete sentence.

"What is there not to understand?"

Mace was a Jedi. He was not supposed to find humour in someone else's distress let alone a young Padawan learner, but Kenobi's shock was so amusing he couldn't help but tease him, just a little.

But then---

"Why would you want _me_?" The question unraveled such insecurity in the kid, Mace heart ached. Even as the auburn haired youth tried to keep his emotions in check, face carefully blank, fingers folded atop of each other as not to give anything away, his eyes. Oh his eyes were the gateway to Kenobi's uncontrollable waves of emotions and Mace could see them all.

"Because you're a remarkable Jedi," he said carefully, reaching out to squeeze the kid's shoulder like he did so many nights ago. "And I would be honored to take you Obi-Wan Kenobi the rest of the way to your Knighthood if you let me."

Blue-green eyes sparkled with tears. Bottom lip quiver ever so slightly.

"Oh."

Mace squeezed his shoulder again.

"But why," here Obi-Wan swallowed thickly, eyes darting around the room, careful not to meet his gaze. "If you wanted to ask me…. Why didn't you---" he couldn't seem to finish his question. A sting of pain carrying across the force over to Mace.

"Why didn't I ask you before?"

The kid nodded, fingers clenching his wrist, the distinctly missing Jedi robes unable to hide his habit. Which Obi-Wan most have noticed a second later for he immediately let go, curling into himself as if to protect his heart from words he knew would break him in half.

Qui-Gon had truly done a number on this child.

Mace sighed. "In all honesty," he said, keeping his voice low. "I'm not your best choice."

Raising a hand to stop whatever outburst coming his way, he shook his head. Obi-Wan clicked his mouth shut and looked down. "What I meant," Mace said. "Is that being on the council, being the Master of the Order does not leave me much room to go of planet. And you will have plenty of missions of planet as a senior Padawan."

"I can do solo missions, It won't be my first time--"

"I know," Mace cut him off. "I know. But that doesn't mean that there won't be difficult missions that are too dangerous for you to take alone and for those you will need your Master. That's why I didn't think I could be enough for you. That along with the limited time I'll have in training you is the reason why I didn't ask you before. You deserved better."

Obi-Wan was glaring at him now. "Then why did you change your mind? Is it because no one else wanted me and you feel sorry for me? Did Master Yoda put you up to th--"

"Kenobi, stop."

Obi-Wan's mouth snapped shut even while the glare was still present and accounted for. Hurt feelings suffocating the force around them, making Mace sigh again. Qui-Gon had stepped on this kid's self esteem until there was nothing left.

_'Stop Mace,'_ he told himself as soon as his anger started to show its ugly head. _'Punching a fellow Jedi in the face is against the Code.'_

"I'm sure I could find another Master for you if I looked Obi-Wan," he said softly, leveling the kid with a stern look. "And do you really think I would go out of my way to pity you?" Before the kid could get a word in, Mace raised his voice, silently cutting him off. "No, I chose you because despite how complicated our partnership might become due to my prior obligations, I'm willing to make it work. If that means delegating some of my council duties to someone else so be it. Hell, if that means I will have to step down temporarily to complete your training then I will do so." And it's only when those words leave his mouth, that Mace knew how very true they were. "You deserve to make your own choices Kenobi. Not to have those around you make them for you. So yes, I don't believe I am your best choice. There are plenty of Masters that could prepare you for your Trials and teach you what you need to know without having to balance it with other duties outside of your education, but I am willing to make it work, for you. If you'll have me."

Never had Mace spoken his heart out like this. Not in a very long time. But for young Kenobi….. "So," he said, trying and failing to smile at the tear stricken face of the suddenly oh so small kid sitting in front of him in that hospital bed. "Obi-Wan Kenobi, will you do me the honors of becoming my Padawan learner and let me guide you to Knighthood?"

Mace hadn't expect the hug.

But when Obi-Wan flung his bedsheets away and threw himself at him, spindly arms tightening around his neck with a sob, instinct took over and Mace pulled him close. Hand curling around the back of Obi-Wan's neck, his other arm circling around his waist; careful not to jolt the kid's injuries.

He let the boy cry against him. The silent sobs wrecking his body as Obi-Wan's sheer relief nearly drowned them both within the force.

He most have been so scared.

"There, there young one," Mace muttered, running his fingers through the slightly long hair that they'd have to cut as soon as possible. The kid was his Padawan now after all. And speaking off. "You have yet to answer me Kenobi," he said, lips quirking up even as the kid's tears soaked his tunic. "Does that mean you don't want me as your Mas--"

"No," Obi-Wan nearly shouted, scrambling back into his bed and staring at him in absolute wonderment. "I mean yes, I mean.... I want to be your Padawan!" He blinked furiously as his eyes seemed to well up again. "Thank you, thank you Master Wind---- Thank you, Master."

When Mace smiled at that single word, he was met with a radiant nearly blinding smile in return. One that lit up the force like thousand sunsets and thousand sunrises.

It was heartachingly beautiful.

"No." he whispered, somehow finding his eyes a bit wet. "Thank you, Padawan mine."

And Obi-Wan's smile grew even brighter as if such miracles were possible and the force sang with pleasure.

\------------

"Lay back down, Padawan. We have an early morning ahead of us and you need the rest." Master Che had been very clear in her instructions when she'd come to check in on them about an hour ago. Smiling her congratulations when Obi-Wan had told her the news. Mace did not wish to cross her. She'd already let him over extended the visitation hours.

Eyes lighting up at the use of the word he probably thought he'd never hear again, Obi-Wan pulled at his new braid and frowned. "I'm not tired." His new Padawan braid lacked any beads or bands; Mace having braided it in the traditional way of his lineage had left them out as those accomplishment had all been repudiated by Qui-Gon, but Mace swore to himself that those final beads his Padawan earned before his Trials would be all the more worth it because of it.

"Padawan," he said in a warning tone.

Lips quirking up into a grin, the kid slid down until he was fully laying under his covers, head resting on his fluffed up pillow. "Fine."

Mace huffed, pulling the children book from the desk and opening to the first page. "I'll read to you till you fall asleep."

Obi-Wan snorted, eyebrows quirking up in utter disbelief. "With all due respect _Master_ ," he said, eyes glinting with laughter and brilliant stars. "I'm not a child."

"Neither am I," Mace fired back, single eyebrow lifting in return. "What's your point?"

"You really want to read that book?"

Mace shrugged. "It's been a while. Humour me why don't you."

Pulling his cover up to his chin, Obi-Wan's mirth brushed against Mace's force presence; still not having a training bond but feeling closer to each other than they'd ever been efore. "Whatever you say, Master."

Force flicking the kid's braid into his eyes, Mace ignored his indignant huffs as he began to read the silly little book out loud.

Remembering a small three year old child sitting at his feet while he read a similar book to him in the crèche. Brilliant, bright blue-green eyes staring up at him in wonderment and now---

Briefly meeting the same bright blue-green eyes gazing up at him from the hospital bed. Hurt, in pain but no less alive, Mace allowed himself to smile.

"The little Jedi wanted to help people," he started.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mace: I will adopt this sad child.
> 
> Also Mace: What if he doesn't want me though?
> 
> Did this chapter take forever to write? Yes, yes it did (a bit longer than I wanted---sorry about that). But now that it's finally here I hope you all like it! I'm already working on the other oneshots that are part of the series so you can look forward to them too as soon as I finish this fic. 
> 
> Thank you for the lovely and amazing comments. Knowing I'm not the only one who craved a fic like this has been great!
> 
> Coming up: Next two chapters will be from Qui-Gon's point of view. Try not to punch him in the face guys.


	3. To lose what was never yours

No one gossiped quite like the Jedi. A miniature change, a Knighting, a death, a Trial gone wrong. All of it spread like wildfire and within a blink of an eye, the words were across the Temple, twisting the realities behind said words and painting the walls with new and highly unlikely truths. Breathing in the swirling masses of twittering gossip was just part of every day life of the Coruscanty Jedi.

Qui-Gon of course knew how much Jedi liked to gossip. Knew very well how vicious rumours could get; even if it was never done out of malice, just too much curiosity and the indulging need to share things. He knew, and yet…..

_"I heard Kenobi tried to leave the Order again."_

_"I heard he touched the darkside."_

Qui-Gon came to a stuttering halt. Head tilted just so, chin high and gaze fixed on a far away spot as he tried and failed to tune out the Naboo crises that had for the last couple of weeks become the hot topic of the Temple. Why was the refectory three floors too far from his quarters? Was it always like this or was every step suddenly too heavy, too slow, now that Qui-Gon desperately needed to get away.

"He's lucky the council hasn't kicked him out," filtered through to him. Spoken too loud for him to be able to ignore and….

Something foreign, something cruel crawled it's way up his throat. Each whisper of curiosity making him burn. Burn as if the force itself was being ripped from his soul.

Fingers clenching around each tray, one filled with all assortments of dishes; little Ani was all too wide-eyed and adventures with his need to try all types of food now that he realized it wouldn't be withheld from him, and the other with nothing more than the bare essentials.

They shook; both trays vibrating with the unsteadiness of his hands.

_"Master Qui-Gon had to stop him from turning into a Sith. At least that's what people are saying."_

_"Did you know he isn't even a Padawan anymore?"_

_"Really? I mean, I know Master Qui-Gon has a new Padawan but I thought they'd Knighted Kenobi. Didn't he kill a Sith?!"_

_'Yes!--'_ he wanted to scream. A strangled sort of cry dying in his throat as he forced himself to put one foot in front of the other.

_'Ignore them. They don't know. They don't understand. Ignore them,'_ he told himself. But how could he, when all he wanted to do was scream at them. Frayed edges and all. Scream the bloody and raw truth for the entire Temple to hear.

His boy had killed a Sith. Had defended him. Had protected him. His Obi-Wan was a SithKiller. He was an exceptional Padawan. Brilliant and radiant and so so kind. He wasn't….. He wasn't what they thought. With their soft whispers behind lifted hands and flittering glances.

They didn't know the truth.

They could never fully understand the truth.

What did they know….. What did _they_ know.

_"Master Qui-Gon most have seen something wrong with him."_

He kept walking. Snippet of unwanted conversation filtering through despite his best effort to ignore them.

_"My friend told me no Master want to take him."_

_"But Padaw--- Kenobi is so nice! Why would he-----"_

And on and on it went. Anywhere and everywhere in the Temple. Rumours about Obi-Wan and his supposed disgrace kept circulating like month to flame. Padawans, younglings, even Knights scurrying away the second they noticed him walking by, mouths clamming shut and shame clouding their eyes for letting their fantasy run away with them.

Qui-Gon wanted to snap. Shout at the top of his lungs that none of their ridiculous rumours were true. That they were so far of base they might as well be striding across space. That his boy was good. He was kind and gentle, and the truest of Jedi there was. That he saved his life. That he scared him as Qui-Gon's last fading moments were filled with sheer and utter terror that he'd wake up to a dead Padawan that had given too much of himself to save his hurt Master's life even though he too was suffering severely.

Obi-Wan was good. So good. So how dared they defame him like this. Slate his name…….

He wanted to set them straight. Wanted it so badly it burned. But he couldn't. He wouldn't.

To protect Ani, he couldn't.

Anakin was feeling out of place as it was. Scared and lonely, missing his mom terribly. If people around the Temple realized the truth, that Qui-Gon had let go of his Padawan of ten years to take a kid that was too old….. It would put Ani in a difficult position. And the poor child was already dealing with so much. Missing his mother, learning all these foreign cultural norms, adapting and even worrying about Obi-Wan on top of it all. Qui-Gon couldn't in good consciousness clear up the rumours while also protecting Ani from them.

In the end it was a matter of who needed him more, and right now, that was the Chosen One.

So he clammed his mouth shut, gritted his teeth, pulled the trays closer to his chest and kept walking. Blocking out every curious, hurtful word, and let his emotions fade into the force.

Repudiating Obi-Wan hadn't done his young Padaw-- former Pawadan any good. Especially with the boy's spotty reputation as it was, but Qui-Gon was sure as soon as Obi-Wan got a new Master this would all die down. He just needed to hold on a bit longer. Besides, his former Padawan had been in the Halls these past couple of weeks; _and oh, if his heart didn't give a painful tug at the thought,_ so none of it would have reached him. The Temple gossip wouldn't last much longer.

And maybe when Obi-Wan got a new Master, when the rumours died out, Anakin too wouldn't have to be kept away from the Temple life any longer. Maybe then Qui-Gon wouldn't have to keep little Ani secluded; shielding him from curious eyes and less than flattering opinions of Obi-Wan. Besides few friends the kid had made, Anakin didn't go out much, not even to classes. Qui-Gon having decided it was for the best he homeschooled him for now.

It was for the best.

The gossip wouldn't last forever.

Even if Qui-Gon didn't like it. Even if he wanted to put a stop to it. Even if after killing a Sith and saving his life people were likening Obi-Wan to Xanatos. Even if…….

It was for the best. At least for now.

So Qui-Gon kept walking. Kept his head down and wondered how his boy was doing. How he was healing. If Master Che was taking care of him. If he was smiling or laughing. If he was worried, if he was thinking about him. If, if, if.

"Greeting, Master Jinn."

He didn't startle, but it was close. Qui-Gon blinked slowly, re-entering himself. "Knight Vos," he said pleasantly. "Back from your mission I see?"

Shadows didn't talk about their missions, even newly assigned Shadows like Vos, so Qui-Gon wasn't surprised when the young man's only response to his question was a careless shrug. "Dinner?" he asked instead, nodding at the trays Qui-Gon was balancing in his hands, one eyebrow arched.

"Yes. Ani is just about done with his homework so I offered to grab us a bite."

Something crackled around them, the force nearly suffocating with emotions Qui-Gon couldn't quite decipher before it vanished just as quick. Vos, for it most have been Vos, clamming down on his emotions as fast as he had let them slip. The Kiffar's shoulders were tense, a tiny grove appearing between his eyebrows darkening his expression. Suddenly Qui-Gon felt as if whatever little regard the Shadow might have had of him, had evaporated.

It felt like he'd failed a test he hadn't even been aware of taking.

"Is that so? How _nice._ " The last word was practically spat at him. "Good to see that you have moved on from the Naboo incident. Content with your new perfect life are you now, Master Jinn?" If looks alone could kill.

Qui-Gon frowned. "We are all making due with the hand we were dealt, Knight Vos. But I can assure you Naboo haunts us all. However as Jedi, we cannot let our emotions get the best of us."

Quinlan stiffened. "Have you even gone to see him? Do you even--" Clenching his fists, Vos's glare was almost too much. "He isn't dead you know. There's no need to act like he is."

And that. No. That was one step too far.

"Knight--" he hissed, trays perfectly still even as his heart shook and his breath hitched. "Know your place."

"My apologies," Quinlan muttered, eyes flashing as he bowed, deep enough to be respectful, shallow enough to put his point across. "I did not mean to overstep."

Giving him a stiff nod in return, Qui-Gon tried not to think of his own hurt, his own anger, of Obi-Wan. "See that you don't."

The Kiffar nodded back, sidestepping to walk past him. Air too tense to continue any meaningful conversation. Qui-Gon listened as the newly Knighted Jedi's presence drew further and further away from him, but just as he was about to make his way back to his quarters; the clawing desperation scrapping against his throat boxed away for another day, Vos spoke up again. His voice distant, but in these empty halls, all the more potent.

"Some Padawan's thrive because of their Master's guidance," came his words, cutting across the distance between them as if he was right next to him, whispering into his ear. "Others thrive despite of it. I pray for Skywalker's sake he follows Obi-Wan's path of the latter."

And, oh….. That was….. That hit harder than Qui-Gon expected it to.

It's as if Vos was suffocating him. As if he'd reached across the hall and squeezed his heart in an unrelenting grip of death.

Years of mastering his emotions is all that prevents Qui-Gon from stumbling back. Quinlan without realizing it having dug up a pain so profound it's scars were still screaming with agony under the shell that was Qui-Gon Jinn. Feemor, Xanatos, now Obi-Wan. He doesn't even notice Quinlan's footsteps fading away, no. All he can focus on is his shortened breath, his pounding heart and the shake. He's shaking. Because……… he'd somehow managed to fail Obi-Wan like he'd failed everyone else and……

He can't breathe.

_He can't._

And it's only what feels like hours later that he comes to. Curled at the farthest corner of force knows where. Food nowhere in sight, knees pulled against his chest as he tries to just breathe.

Quinlan Vos's words shouldn't have gotten to him but they had and Qui-Gon hated himself for it. Because….. Because, what did Vos know. What did he know about his struggles. What did he know about the sacrifices Qui-Gon had made. This was the Will of The Force. Why did no one understand that! This wasn't about him or Obi-Wan. This wasn't about the council or hurt feelings. This was about the Chosen One and how he needed training. The force had willed it so, so why was everyone trying to stop him?!

He hadn't failed Obi-Wan.

He hadn't.

Not really.

Obi-Wan was the man he was today because Qui-Gon had done right by him even as he was still recovering from Xanatos. Even with all the scars Xanatos had carved into his heart, he'd let Obi-Wan in, raised that boy like he was his own. And Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan had repaid his devotion by being the light in his otherwise darkened soul. Obi-Wan had saved him. Loved him, respected him and…..

Did they honestly think he would abandon his boy if the force wasn't guiding him?

This wasn't his fault. This was the council's fault. They had forced his hand. Made him choose. If they'd only Knighted Obi-Wan like they were supposed to none of this would have happened. They had changed and twisted tradition before, so why not now?

Qui-Gon knew why.

It was to spite him. They didn't like that he wasn't bending to their every whim and they took it out on his Padawan.

This wasn't his fault. It was the council and their incessant need to punish him for not being a puppet like everyone else.

Now Obi-Wan was Masterless and Qui-Gon couldn't fix it. Couldn't take back what was done. _'And you wouldn't,_ ' his consciousness whispered traitorously. _'Training the Chosen One is more important. Obi-Wan isn't more important than bringing balance to the force.'_

And Qui-Gon knew he wasn't and that's why he'd let him go.

It was for the best.

\------------------------

"If you really wanna visit Mr. Obi-Wan, you should!" Anakin chirped, stuffing his face with another spoon full of stew; having finally let go of being cross with Qui-Gon for the late dinner. The old Master having gone back to the refectory; after his unexpected breakdown to get them two new plates of food while still not quite knowing what happened to the previous ones.

"Is that so," he muttered, slowly sipping at his tea. "And don't talk with food in your mouth, Ani."

"Sowwy."

Qui-Gon glared and Anakin flushed. Chewing and swallowing quickly, the kid muttered a soft apology under his breath making Qui-Gon smile in satisfaction. "It's ok. Just don't forget it next time."

Nodding and looking a little less enthusiastic now, Anakin fidgeted in his seat. "So are you?"

"Am I what?" He knew he was being difficult and by the tiny frown on Ani's face, the kid knew it too.

"Visit Mr. Obi-Wan," Anakin huffed, crossing his arms. "He's awake you know and he's super good at talking without falling asleep in the middle of it now, and he has all this candy and gifts that he shared with me and maybe he'll share it with you too and he's really nice and he misses you and why don't you go visit?!" The last words were practically shouted at him. Anakin having stood up in the middle of his rant to slam his hands on the table.

"I can't," Qui-Gon said, voice sharp even as he tried to temper down his emotions. "Master Che won't let me."

The surprised little "Oh," Anakin let out, eyes wide and mouth slightly gaped open in disbelief made a flush of jealousy course through Qui-Gon's veins. Because-- "But she lets me visit all the time!"

How was that fair?

The fact that Ani could visit his boy when he was denied. The fact that Vokara didn't think the kid that upended Obi-Wan's life would give him stress but he, Obi-Wan's Master. The man who raised him through his adolescent, somehow would. How everyone from his friends to the council members to even Anakin could visit his Padawan, but all Qui-Gon could do was brush his mind against his son and drink in his presence from afar.

How was any of that fair?

It burned. It curled around his throat and burned. Anakin had just arrived. He hadn't even been here for a full cycle and yet he knew the state Obi-Wan was in better than him. Could eat his breakfast, finish his school work and bounce of to the Halls to go see the one person Qui-Gon wanted to see above all else.

Oh it burned.

Anakin didn't know what he'd taken from him. What the Will of The Force had taken from him….

And just as soon as the jealousy flared up, it died down. Overwhelmed by a sense of shame and embarrassment that Qui-Gon had even let himself entertain such destructive and baseless emotions. This had nothing to do with Anakin. The kid hadn't made his choices for him. Ani was innocent in all of this. How could he even blame him?

"Maybe…. Maybe you can ask again? I'm sure Master Che will let you see him if you ask super nicely?" The lilt of uncertainty in Anakin's side of their bond, pulled the Master back out of his own head. Eyes landing on the small boy sitting across from him; dinner long since abandoned and if that didn't make Qui-Gon feel even worse. Anakin ate with vigor because he still couldn't comprehend that the food would still be there afterwards, and now Qui-Gon had worried him enough to abandon it in hopes of appeasing him.

Sighing deeply, Qui-Gon shook his head. "I'm sure she will Ani." Smiling gently at the poor boy, he was rewarded with a wobbly one in return. "Let's finish eating shall we?" Lifting his fork he clinked it playfully against Anakin's own, which made the kid's uncertain smile bloom into something more real, and that was enough for now. If this was all Qui-Gon could do at the moment, make a little boy smile, that was enough for him.

Especially since he knew deep down; despite the irrational feelings that suffocated him sometimes, that none of this was Anakin's fault. This was all new and scary to the kid as well. He didn't need Qui-Gon's issues on top of his own.

Besides, he mused tiredly, taking a bite out of the Tufkus cake Obi-Wan loved so much. This was his own cowardly fault in the first place.

He was the one who'd broken Obi-Wan's trust. He had been the one to run out of the kid's hospital room after unbraiding his hair because he was too afraid to look him in the eye and tell him what he'd done. Selfishly he'd still wanted Obi-Wan to look at him as if he'd hung the moon, so he couldn't, he wouldn't…….

It had been so much easier to do it while his boy was unconscious. To run his fingers through his hair one last time, file away every little detail of his peaceful face to memory. To never forget. To never let go. Even as his fingers fumbled to untie the braid. The moments, the days, the history.

It had been so incredibly hard.

Putting it all away. Cutting their bond.

And now there was a brown wooden box under his bed were familiar beads and bands once tied to Obi-Wan's bbraid, lay collecting dust.

Yes, it had been…. Hard. But duty rose above all else, and Qui-Gon knew with time, Obi-Wan would come to accept it too.

Still, not all hope was lost. Because no matter how many times Master Yoda had told him to stay out of it, Qui-Gon was going to fix this. He had a last ditch plan if all else failed. There was no way, force wills it, he was going to let his kid be sent away again. Not under his watch.

He'd been keeping an eye on Mace and Yoda's efforts and it was safe to say it wasn't going well. Which wasn't a surprise seeing as Obi-Wan's records were well, not exactly perfect. Leaving the Order left a stain on someone's legacy and while Qui-Gon had already forgiven him for _that_ transgression, not many would be able to do the same.

No, it was definitely not going well. Master Yoda all but admitting it to him when he'd checked in with him for the fifteenth time; Mace unwilling to look at him let alone talk to him after that fated council meeting.

"Looking we are. Little success we are being met with. Have heart you most. Abandon Obi-Wan we will not."

_'Unlike you_ ,' had floated between them, unsaid.

But it was Yoda's parting words that had stayed with Qui-Gon. Lingering in his head, days after the wise old Jedi had looked at him with such sadness and regret.

"Hurting, you are. But band-aid to your pain Obi-Wan is not. Band-aid to your pain Obi-Wan should have never been. My mistake it was, assigning him to you."

My mistake. Assigning him to you.

_Mistake. Assigning him. Assigning Obi-Wan, to him._

Yoda regretted creating their partnership and Qui-Gon didn't know how to process the absolute devastation and anger that ignited within him.

There was nothing wrong with his partnership with Obi-Wan. Sure they'd had their ups and downs, but the good times far outweighed the bad and for Yoda to say something like that, to hold such conviction in his voice as he said it……

No. Neither Master Yoda or Master Windu knew what was best for Obi-Wan. They wouldn't find him a Master to take him in. They wouldn't succeed, and in the end, his boy would once again end up on a train taking him far away from home.

Qui-Gon would be damned if he let that happen.

In fact, he had the perfect plan to prevent it all and keep his Padawans with him.

"Master Qui-Gon sir?"

"Yes?" he said, momentarily putting a pause on his running thoughts. "You finished your dinner, Ani?"

Nodding eagerly, Anakin pushed his empty plates away and jumped off the chair. "Can I go now?"

Shaking his head a fond smile playing at the corner of his lips, Qui-Gon stood up too, collecting their plates. "Have you finished your reading?"

Anakin moved restlessly. "I wanted to do it tomorrow? But-" he said, giving him a pleading look. "I did all of my other work. I promise! Can I please go?"

Frowning thoughtfully, Qui-Gon made his way into the kitchen, well aware of the hasting footsteps hurrying after him. "Why leave it for tomorrow?"

"Um," looking over his shoulders he watched as Ani twiddled his thumbs.

"Um, what?"

"Well," the kid smiled, uncertainty practically flooding the force. "Obi-Wan said he'd help me with the reading and it's really late right now and Master Che said I couldn't visit when it's late so I can't go and ask him for help. So….. Tomorrow?"

Something lodged itself in Qui-Gon's throat and for a second, it was almost too hard to breathe again. "That's…. Nice," he managed to force out. Not daring to look at the little boy who practically gave him everything while taking away all that mattered to him. "Where are you planning to go?"

"Aayla said she'd show me the hangers and I promised to meet here after dinner! Please?"

Aayla Secura. Quinlan Vos's Padawan. Gritting his teeth, Qui-Gon released his bitterness into the force. Apparently nothing was going his way today.

"So can I go?"

He sighed. "Yes. But--" he called out as Anakin let out a little yeep and darted to the door. "Be home at a reasonable hour this time."

"I will!"

Qui-Gon scoffed. He doubted it.

But Anakin was very independent, not like Obi-Wan. And he didn't want to hamper that independency, especially since the kid was destined to save the world. And with the kid having to stay home and study alone for majority of the day, Qui-Gon didn't think refusing him his nightly outings was fair. So he wished the Chosen One goodbye and settled down for an hour of meditation.

He felt far too restless for mediation these days, but it was only through centering himself that he found that he could get close to Obi-Wan's force signature. And loathe as he was to admit this level of attachment, he did not feel ashamed enough to stop. Being near his boy. To quietly hover around that bright, warm presence. It eased something deep and painful within Qui-Gon.

And it strengthened his determination to carry out his plan all the more.

Dooku, he thought, kneeling. Eyes closed and mind wandering despite his almost desperate need to find that serenity so he could seek out Obi-Wan's presence within the force. Master Yan would arrive back at the Coruscant within a week, and as soon as he got back, Qui-Gon would corner him and somehow convince him to finish Obi-Wan's training.

He didn't get along with his former Master and frankly Qui-Gon was all too willing to carry on with their current norm of never speaking to each other outside of polite greetings, but right now, Dooku was his only option. The right option. After all, Master Yan had shown keen interest in Obi-Wan's education in the child's earlier years; thankfully Qui-Gon had managed to keep his Master away from his very impressionable student, but now he might be his very last triumph card. And Obi-Wan was twenty-three now, he wouldn't be so easily corruptible by Master Yan's distinct interest in Sith history. Besides, Qui-Gon knew how distant the older man was. He could probably convince him to take Obi-Wan as a Padawan and then leave him here, with him. That way Qui-Gon could keep both his Padawans, train them and no one would be sent away.

It was the perfect plan. The perfect idea. And with his former Master being much kinder now that Qui-Gon had barely escaped with his life against a Sith, he was sure it would all work out like it should.

He was sure of it.

Letting himself sink even deeper into the force, he filtered out all the pulsating force signatures around him. Drowning them all out as he sought out the one candle light that was as familiar to him as his own and there. He smiled.

Obi-Wan.

Warm like a crackling campfire in the middle of freezing winter. Comforting like a hug given by a tiny thirteen year old who'd seen too much of the world far too quickly and yet managed to retain his innocence.

His Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon wasn't going to let him down again. Not this time.

Slowly drawing himself back away from his boy, he breathed in and opened his eyes. The loss of the blazing presence that was his former Padawan making his chest ache, but he knew he couldn't linger, less the kid noticed him.

It didn't matter either way. Because it was only matter of time before he would be reunited with him.

Standing up, he brushed imaginary dust of his robes; faintly hearing the echoes of Obi-Wan's laughter at his old man habit.

Today was the day the auburn haired youth would leave the Halls. It should have been yesterday, but according to one of the Padawan's in rotation that he'd coaxed the information out of, a small complication had delayed Obi-Wan's release.

Since no Master had claimed him yet, Obi-Wan Kenobi would be assigned to the Initiate dorms again, and Qui-Gon was not willing to let that happen.

He would go pick him up and surprise him with the good news that he could stay with them. Him and little Ani until they found him a Master; _Yan Dooku if Qui-Gon had anything to say about it._ And he was sure his boy would be so relieved to know that Qui-Gon still had his back. Maybe that could be their first step in mending what had been broken? Especially since Anakin and he seemed to already get along splendidly.

Of course it might be mildly embarrassing for Obi-Wan for a bit; sharing quarters with the boy who'd replaced him, but he would settle down eventually. Qui-Gon was sure of it. His boy was nothing if not adaptable. And after he heard the effort Qui-Gon had put into keeping them together, he would forgive him. He had to.

If he didn't, Qui-Gon wasn't quite sure what he would do with himself.

Making his way through the living room; ready to grab his boots to go, he stumbled over a box by the sofa and nearly fell. His quick reflexes the only thing keeping him standing.

Frowning down at the scattered boxes of Obi-Wan's things that he'd packed away weeks ago, so Anakin could have more space for his own stuff, Qui-Gon sighed. They'd have to find somewhere new to place them. Maybe Obi-Wan could take his room, since Ani had already moved into the older boy's? And Qui-Gon could take the sofa, just for now. Just until he applied for bigger quarters. Nodding to himself resolutely, he sidestepped the rest. But just as he arrived at the door, there was a knock. Followed by three more rapid bangs.

"Hold on," he called out, reaching for the panel and as the door slide open he came face to face with Muln. Garen Muln. Another of Obi-Wan's delightful friends. And by the sour look on the kid's face, just as delightfully furious with him.

"Knight Muln," he greeted softly followed by a bow.

Garen grinned, all teeth and stormy eyes. "Master Qui-Gon," he said cheerfully, bowing back. "I'm here to pick up Obi's things."

Qui-Gon stiffened, folding his hands under the sleeves of his robe. "Ah, he's being released today," he said. Neither making it a question nor a statement.

The shaggy haired man nodded enthusiastically, his force presence practically swallowing them both up with a sense of coldness that sent chills down Qui-Gon's spine.

"Yeah," he answered, jaw twitching. "He's finally leaving the Halls and I was sent to get his things." Nodding his head at the boxes strewn around the floor behind him. "So if you could just get them for me--" clapping his hands, Muln smiled; his eyes were cold. "That would be wonderful."

Clearing his throat, Qui-Gon gave the clearly resentful Knight a tight smile. "There is no need to take Obi-Wan's things--" He ignored how Muln flinched as the name left his mouth. "To the Initiate dorms. They can stay here until he gets a Master."

Now. Now Muln's eyes were sparkling. There was a sense of vicious glee swirling around them in the force and it made Qui-Gon tense. What was going on?

"Oh you don't understand," Garen smiled back at him and this time, his smile did reach his eyes. But it looked foreign on the face of the otherwise furious man. "I'm not here to take Obi's things to the Initiate dorms." Here he paused, his force signature practically dancing. "He already has a Master and said Master asked me to bring his things. So you see--" a giant grin. "Nothing for you to concern yourself with."

"What?"

"You heard me _. Master Jinn_." The last two words were dragged out, Garen's lips widening even further into an almost sadistic smile. "His Master sent me to get his things."

But Qui-Gon couldn't quite comprehend it. He couldn't……

A Master? Already?

When, how, why?

"Who?" Was what came out. The burning question that mattered the most…… who?

Garen Muln slid in past him and chuckled. "Believe it or not," he said, voice practically a giggle and tone conversational. He was enjoying this. "Master Windu."

Wi…..

"Mace?"

Qui-Gon could barely keep a lid on his shock. Because…. Mace? Why would he take Obi-Wan.

_'Why would he take Obi-Wan away from me?'_

The young Knight shrugged. "Yeah. He asked him yesterday and Obi agreed." Lifting his hands he concentrated and before long all the boxes were floating; Qui-Gon couldn't even muster the necessary disapproval to scold him for the improper use of the force.

"Obi-Wan….. Agreed?"

Floating the last mementos of his Padawan past him, Muln smirked. "Yup. The Master of the Order. Isn't that crazy."

It……

Mace…… Mace had taken his Padawan.

But it wasn't supposed to be _Mace_. It was supposed to be _Yan._

Yan Dooku was supposed to take on Obi-Wan and then give him back. So they could all stay together. Here. Like they were supposed to. Not….. Not Mace.

"Now Obi doesn't have to leave, you get to keep your prized Chosen One, Master Jinn. And all will be sunshine and rainbows." Practically skipping out the door, Garen Muln gave him a wink. "All as the force wills it, right?" And with that he was gone. Leaving Qui-Gon in a stupor he couldn't shake. Not even hours later when Anakin snuck his way in, letting out a yelp when he found his Master sitting listless by the door. The poor kid nearly stumbling over him.

"Master, what's wrong!"

_'Nothing,'_ he wanted to say. _'Obi-Wan found himself a Master. Isn't that great!'_

But he couldn't. The thought alone made him want to rip his hair out. Because deep down he'd assumed there would be no capable Masters willing to take Obi-Wan, not with his spotty record. And those who might have been willing to see past it, would have already had Padawans or were far too young to train a Padawan as old as Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon had; loathe as he was to admit it, almost counted on it. Subconsciously relieved each and every time he'd heard of another rejection. Even as he felt great sadness for his former Padawan. But he'd known Master Dooku was coming. His Master was coming back to fix everything, help him restore what had been broken. Qui-Gon had been so close to getting his family back. And now it was gone. It was all gone, thanks to Mace Windu.

Mace had stolen his Padawan from him.

"Master, Master! What's wrong?!"

Nothing, nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never have I ever found a character as hard to write as Qui-Gon Jinn. I literally ended up putting on robes, letting my hair down and pretending to be him for a full 24 hours to get his stupid character down. Hopefully he came out ok. I didn't want to make him a 100% bad person but I also knew he wasn't a great person either, so he had to land somewhere in the middle. In character, yet an asshole. So in the end, I have summarized Qui-Gon like this [Everything is about him. Even though he loves Obi-Wan it's about Qui-Gon. His pain, what he needs, his jealousy, trying to keep both Padawan instead of finding any other solution blah blah blah]. 
> 
> He isn't a bad person. He's just a really shitty Mentor. Like imagine telling Obi-Wan he will stay with them, while being an absent mentor's padawan just so Qui-Gon can continue playing at being a dad...... this man needs serious help. And I actually feel kind of bad for him because he does love Obi-Wan. He's just not good at anything else besides that first step.
> 
> Qui-Gon: You can stay with us!
> 
> Obi-Wan [......]: You gave my room away. You disowned me and you never even looked me in the eye when you did it.
> 
> Qui-Gon: Semantics.
> 
> Next chapter: Will likely be from Obi-Wan's POV..... and you guys may or may not end up actually killing Qui-Gon :I
> 
> Finally, Happy Belated Birthday Mimi<3

**Author's Note:**

> Believe it or not the idea that Depa's preferred form is Soresu is half the reason why I wrote this fic. Just her taking Obi as her unofficial baby brother and helping him on his path to becoming a Master at Soresu makes me all giddy, so here you have it.
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy.
> 
> confession: Some very tiny part of me wants to write a crack fic were Quinlan Vos (newly Knighted) up and declares himself Obi-Wan's master after he's repudiated by Qui-Gon (so his bestie doesn't get sent to the AgriCorps ) and it is chaotic mess no one can stop. ---(I have started writing it!!!) Update: I was planning to write two versions of this fic (one that would be part of this series), but since I've decided to make Aayla Quinlan's padawan here in this fic, that won't happen. So there will only be 1 version and it will be outside of this AU. Cheers!


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